The Feeling Of Fascination In Erotic Love Is Not Love

I tuned in with eagerness at Heartiste’s International Truth Day 2nd Edition.

I suppose I should say that I am a little bit surprised at his last sentence:

love is easily missed, carelessly denied, fleetingly intense, nakedly vulnerable… and for all these reasons it is more precious than anything else in this world.

At first, I thought it a nice way to end a flurry of pithiness.

Then for a moment, I thought he had gone all Paulian on us (1st Corinthians: “The greatest of these is love…”).

Wait, Heartiste gone Paulian? NAAAAAAAAAh.

So then… What constitutes this thing which is more precious than anything else in this world? Let’s see…

the meaning of life is still to fuck

Ahhh, there’s the rub.

To Heartiste (and to the aesthetic) a sense of fascination sits on the throne, an offshoot of which is the feeling of erotic love, culminated in the bio-chemical party known as the orgasm.

The relative, psycho-socio-biological fittedness of a man and woman interacting on an erotic plane (both during the sex act and around it, as in dating / push-pull / banter / intimacy, etc) thus reaches a high plane, at such a resonance and profundity that we feel it is ‘more precious than anything in this world’.

I invite you the reader, to consider the approach to life as offered by this point of view.

What, exactly, is the ‘Love’ he is talking about?

On the dropback of a life on the aethestic plane, and the feeling of fascination in erotic love as the meaning of ‘Love’. He says it, ‘The meaning of life is to fuck.’

Contrast this to the (real) Paulian version (1st Corinthians 13)

Love always protects, always hopes, always trusts, always perseveres. Love never fails. (v. 7-8)

Love according to this spiritual tradition is something far deeper and more profound than the feeling of fascination in erotic love.

Love protects, hopes, trusts, perseveres, and doesn’t fail… even when there aren’t orgasms to be had.


English speakers basically only have one word for love, and it adds to the confusion. Greek (the language of the New Testament) has at least 4 words for love. And I recently learned Arabic has 21 words for love.

The word Saint Paul uses is ‘agape’, which means the special a seeking of the good of another person. It is presented as the meaning of life. It is love with a capital L.

The word Heartiste uses is more like ‘eros’, which is the fascinating interplay of sexual love between a man and a woman. This erotic love may come into play in a relationship, particularly a romantic one. But on it’s own, it is not identical to Love with a capital L.

Heartiste indeed is on to something here:

love is easily missed, carelessly denied, fleetingly intense, nakedly vulnerable

Yet I would hope that somewhere this love–when not missed, and where fully embraced– is the kind that when experienced, is totally OTHER. It is an invitation of something BEYOND the level of ordinary erotic fascinations.

Yet if we keep calling everything ‘love’, we might miss it: Love is not love.


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